This week, I was once again confronted with goodbyes. After seven months in Australia, I'm off on a new adventure: a summer in the United States. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to write an article on the subject. Saying goodbye to people, places and ways of thinking and being.
Goodbyes are never easy. And yet, at one time or another, we are all confronted with this harsh reality. Sometimes it comes in the form of a choice, which makes it a little less difficult, but unfortunately in other situations, it's forced upon us. So how can we learn to manage this uncomfortable time?
There may be many reasons for saying goodbye, but one thing is certain: there will be change. And we don't like change... well, it all depends on what it involves. For me, it's often me who says goodbye when it's time to travel around the world. And I'm not going to lie to you, even if it's not always pleasant at the time, it's always worth it!
When the balance between what we're leaving (person, place or way of thinking) and what we're going to find seems to be positive on our side, goodbyes don't shake us too much. But as soon as we feel we're "losing out", our world collapses. We know what we're losing, but we don't know what we're going to find.
So it's important to understand what's on the scale. Is it possible to influence what's on it? Can you add or remove elements to rebalance it? If so, let's do it, right away. If not, this is where the deeper work begins.
Learning to say goodbye is a quality that enables us to move forward in life, simply and healthily. We live in a world where nothing lasts forever, which means we have to say goodbye. You might think that saying goodbye to a loved one is the most complicated, but in my experience, saying goodbye to a way of thinking or doing things is even more so. Why is that?
We more often identify with a pattern of thought or action than with a person (of course, there are exceptions), which means that saying goodbye implies a real change in our innermost being. To deal with this, we need to return to our idea of balance. It's only by finding as much, if not more, positive in the change that we'll be able to say goodbye easily. Obviously, this requires a little practice, time and willpower.
Personally, I've seen how traveling has helped me deal with these moments. I've discovered that after more than five years of travel, I find it easier to say goodbye to people and places, but also to a way of being or thinking.
And you, how do you handle goodbyes?
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