We hear about gratitude everywhere, from the magazine on the coffee table in a waiting room to our social medias. But what really is gratitude? Do we all have it? Is it possible not to feel it?
I've always been fascinated by the theme of gratitude, and even though it's been on the front page of magazines for several years now, it's still hard to pin down. So yes, everyone knows that gratitude is recognition for a service rendered, for a good received, it's a "positive" feeling experienced.
But we don't talk often enough about those who don't feel it. Nor how it can be implanted in our lives.
During my research for my forthcoming book, I discovered that we talk almost all the time about how we should all be more grateful for our lives, for what we have. And, to be honest, I didn't see the problem with that until I had a super interesting conversation with my brother.
When gratitude isn't present, we often find ourselves stuck in ingratitude, which is simply said the lack of recognition, and which all too often is proof of great inner suffering. This feeling of ingratitude is most often born of unfulfilled expectations. The feeling that we haven't received anything "special" that deserves gratitude. I can imagine how difficult this could be to live with at times. Especially if this impression leads to negative thoughts such as: I don't receive anything special / I'm not a special person / I'm not loved / I don't deserve anything, etc.
Moreover, the idea of gratitude can be frightening. We don't want to turn a blind eye to certain situations, which we tend to see as merely negative. But gratitude can really change our lives. So how do we move from ingratitude to gratitude?
Accepting how you feel is the first essential step. It's impossible to move forward if we have no idea that we're stuck. Observing our feelings and perceptions can also help us understand where we can begin to cultivate a more positive, grateful spirit.
Gratitude is a feeling that can be cultivated and, with willpower and practice, can become part of our personality. Being grateful for the simple things in life is a good way to start: a warm drink in winter, a ray of sunshine on a rainy day, a message from a loved one...
One of the best-known techniques is the gratitude journal, it's a way of remembering all the beautiful things that happened during the day. It allows us to change our perspective of the day, to find, at least three things for which we are grateful. (They don't have to be incredible things!).
The process of moving from ingratitude to gratitude can sometimes be a little difficult, but we don't have to go through it alone! There are many people who can help us in these difficult situations. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but of great wisdom.
"Gratitude turns what we have into enough" Aesop
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